The big 5-0

I recall a conversation I had with my dad when I was 10 years old. We were working together on some electrical project in our home. I asked if I could go into the attic to pull the wires and make whatever connection we were trying to make to hook up whatever doodad we were trying to install. He said, "No son. This can be dangerous work. The wires will be live since we are making connections to the electrical box. This could hurt or kill you if not done correctly. I'll do it. I've lived a great life. You have your whole life ahead of you." I thought he was being a bit over dramatic. Seems to me that turning off the power to the house would have remedied the potential danger. But I was young. I might have missed somethjng. His explanation, however, prompted my next question, "Dad, how does it feel to be old?" 

He had just turned 50. Dad was 40 years and a day older than me. He was a Christmas baby and I was born on Christmas Eve. Dad answered, "Son, I don't feel any different than when I was 25. But when I try to do things that used to be easy to do it takes me much longer to recover!" 

I just turned the big 5-0 last week. I can finally understand what dad meant. After two surgeries to repair hernias I realize I can't do the things I used to do with ease without major expense to my aging body! I am also realizing that my mind is often trapped in the past. Yesterday we moved a television from the basement to the front porch so a local non-profit could pick it up to sell in their thrift store. It's an old 35+ inch tube television. It weighs about two tons. I used to carry this crazy thing up and down the stairs with minimal effort. I struggled to move it yesterday with the help of two teenagers. It must have grown heavier with age, because I don't feel any weaker than I did at 25! 

I spend a lot more money on Advil than I used to. When I go for long bike rides (25 miles or more) I feel it the following day - and sometimes the next and even the next. My legs feel swollen and sluggish after long periods of excursion. I have always said that cycling never affects me the day after I ride. That was then, this is now. Now I can't do more than three rides a week. I need at least two days to recover after a "long" ride. 

I watch my teenage son Nick go and go and go and go without the need for a break. Sometimes he will go for bike rides with me. It's so much fun to be out on the blacktop with him, talking about life while cruising on a long country road, pastures and woodlands all around us. Until we come to a climb. Then I get mad. I ride my bike weekly. He rides yearly. On climbs he zooms past me at 15 mph with seemingly little effort, without shifting gears, standing up and dancing on the pedals. I shift down to my "granny gear" and creep up the hill at a speedy 8 mph, sucking wind like I have emphysema. I don't try to keep up with him anymore on climbs. But I fly past him on the descents! 

Realizing my reduced physical capacity has been sobering. But it has been fun having a teen around to pick up the slack! A few years ago I bought a Honda lawnmower. Nick begged to cut the grass. I would take him out with me and demonstrate how to properly use the machine. Each time I would let him cut a row or two. The next year he begged again. I reluctantly gave him permission, supervising from the front porch, glass of iced tea in hand. When he finished mowing the front he was so proud. He came over and pleaded, "Dad, can this be my job from now on!" Grinning from ear to ear I quoted scripture, echoing Jesus's words when two of his followers asked him if they could sit beside him at places of honor in Heaven, "You do not know what you are asking...." Then I told him, "Yes. Yes, this can be your job from now on!" That was three years ago. He was not nearly as excited this year when it came time to crank up that old Honda. But I sure enjoyed my glass of tea while he manicured the lawn! 

A few years ago Nick and I were working in the yard with the chain saw. He asked me if he could use it to cut one of the trees we felled. I considered it. This particular tree was laying at an odd angle. Half of it was off of the ground. I explained, "Son, this can be dangerous work. A chain saw could hurt or kill you if not used correctly. I'll do it. I've lived a great life. You have your whole life ahead of you." I made the cuts without incident. I did let him cut a few logs after the whole tree was safely on the ground.

Getting old isn't that bad. In fact, I rather enjoy it. Each year gets better. The key for me has been to humbly realize my limitations. It has also been wonderful to realize my son's growing strengths and to help him learn the amazing things he can do! 

It's going to be a fun year!