Distractions

Confession time - I am easily distracted. Always have been. It has often been a source of personal and familial frustration.  I can have deep periods of intense concentration and focus. I can be so focused that I don't see otherwise obvious things occurring around me. Like many folks I am also under the false assumption that I am an excellent multitasker. I'm not. Multitasking is just an excuse to hide my penchant for giving in to distractions. I often feel like the cute if not hyper pup named Doug from the movie Up! In the midst of a conversation or narrative Doug will suddenly exclaim "squirrel" and take off after an interloping rodent in the distance. 

My study of Myers-Briggs Personality theory tells me that I am an ENFP, which basically means I have the personality of a 6th grade girl; a giggly, excitable, creative, and easily distracted people-person. 

Sometimes my distractability is a good thing. I notice things many others miss. I'm spontaneous - a great guy to be around on vacation! However, sometimes I get lost in the midst of a conversation because of something I see out if the corner of my eye, or i remember something i meant to do earlier, or i have a sudden 'brain burp' of brilliant ingenuity that demands my immediate attention. Much to my wife's chagrin, I often begin projects never to complete them. She has learned to ask, "is this project on the one week plan, the one month plan, or the 'someday' plan?" for some reason she still thinks I, a) have a plan, and b) will ever manage to stick to a plan I may have. I do make plans, or maybe better, I have flexible innovative ideas that I am constantly tweaking and adapting. 

My desk normally looks like a filing cabinet threw up on and around it. My office floor looks like I scraped everything off of my desk and piled it into corners on a few different occasions. And that is exactly what happened. I have a bad habit of needed things in front of me to remember what I am working on. I've tried the list thing - but I keep losing the lists. 

At home I have 10 or 15 unfinished projects and lots more ideas I don't dare begin (yet). I have trouble ticking to any routine more than a few weeks without inserting a change or two along the way. I love to cycle, but my routes keep changing. I like to read, but I have books all over the house and office with bookmarks inserted at various places. 

Believe it or not, but I do like to finish things. I recently completed a PhD complete with a 500 page dissertation. I love completing a project and feeling the pride of success, seeing the finished product - like that huge bound volume on my bookshelf at work. But even then my mind is ready to tweak what I have just completed. Things can always be improved. I have several articles I am working on from my dissertation, but I can't seem to get one finished before tweaking the topic and having to rework the whole thing. I know, I should just write several different versions of the idea for several different publications. That makes perfect since in some worlds. But my world doesn't work that way. 

My boss used to tell folks that after trying something new I would exclaim, "That worked great, let's change it!" He is right. I get bored easily. I love thinking about possibilities. 

It is personally frustrating at times. Especially in my spiritual life. As a Christian I would love to be the guy who gets up at 4am each and every day and spends an hour in prayer and Bible reading. But I can't. I've tried. Lots of times. It lasts about a week before I am changing and adapting it - the time, the material, the process, the length. Over the years I've learned to go with who I am. Yes, I believe devotional, prayer times, or "quiet times" are essential for Christians to grow and mature, for us to be able to consistently live our faith. However, how such things are accomplished are flexible. 

I read a book several years ago (and I actually finished it), that said most devotional materials and discipleship plans are developed by introverts who enjoy and need routine. The book was Coloring outside the lines: Discipleship for the "Undisciplined". The author gave some suggestions for ways extroverts can comfortably practice their faith and have devotional times. Basically he suggested that each person must discover - through trial and error - what works for them. I need flexibility and change. So sometimes I will arise early in the morning to pray. Sometimes I will pray while walking the dog a few mornings or evenings in a row. I will have hours of contemplative time riding my bike. I will iron and pray. I will bake and think. I will read while sitting in front of the TV with my family. I will read at my desk. I will write. I will draw pictures. I will have deep spiritual discussions with my wife. But I won't do any of things things more than a few weeks in a row. Sometimes I will do a different thing each say. Sometimes I will binge on one thing for an entire day. 

This would make some folks crazy. But it works for me.  And in the midst of...look, a squirrel!