Sometimes we all need a vacation

Sometimes it's good to get away for awhile. I usually realize that I need a break long after the effects of exhaustion have set it, and set in deep. There two main ways I know I'm tired. The first is when I have trouble sitting still. I feel I have too much to do to pause, even for a moment, even for a good thing. I hear myself saying, "just a minute" or "let me finish this one thing," way too often. When that ramped up attitude is paired with the second sign - a hyper cynicism - I know i need to step back for awhile and regroup.

It's been a very busy semester. Today I realized just how exhausted I have become. It hit me as i was restlessly sitting in a meeting today, inwardly complaining about every minute detail, thinking, "this is such a waste of time." I was still thinking such thoughts when the director of th camp began his devotional. He rambled a bit, told a story, rambled some more, then read this scripture:

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.' So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place" (Mark 6:31-32 NIV).

Then he began to say that he believed we were all tired and were in need of deep rest. He hoped that this place, this camp, could provide some restful rejuvenation or each of us. That's when it hit me. I sighed, and realized I have been sighing for months now. I have been bouncing from one ramped up state to the next with a few crashes in between. I have not really rested at all lately. Though my to-do list is not going to shrink, my attention to it can change. I can, and will, determine not to let my lists and activities control me, but that I can and will control them. Now that I have seen my need for rest I am determined to find it, relax in it, and return home in a better state to serve my family, do my job, and cover all of the items piling up on my lists. 

Perhaps that's why Nora Jones' line has been so compelling; "come away with me," she pleads.   That song has been stuck in my head for months. Now that I am away, I'm going to pause, reflect, pray, meditate, write, and enjoy the quiet.