Another Year...

the big ball in NY City just dropped. My family has been asleep for at least half an hour. My wife fell asleep watching TV. My son went to bed angry and disappointed - the Gators lost to U of Miami. Nick stayed awake (and mostly alert) until the bitter end. He had been looking forward to this game for over a month.
As I watch the celebration on TV I can't help but think of those on the other side of the world tonight who are just trying to survive another day. I can't imagine their misery. During the day our TV has been tuned to CNN. I spend my time trying to comprehend the magnitude of what I see on the screen - sound bites and attempts at joyous stories from complete devastation and hopelessness. Survivors are paraded before the camera; stunned by their experiences they try to put on a "game face" for the audience at home. The families shown express joy at having their lost children home. Those who have returned from the dead zone seem in a fog. I wonder - how survival will affect them?
Here I sit in my comfortable den, laptop aglow, new 36 inch television keeping me company and providing background noise, fish tank bubbling away just over my shoulder, dishwasher churning away in the kitchen, thinking, "I could use something to drink. What should I get - milk, tea, powerade, water, diet coke, lemonade?" And then I compare my overly comfortable life with the horrors that flickered on the screen all morning, lodging in my memory. I hear big corporations and rock stars proudly proclaiming that they have contributed money - when they give the amount I laugh. Yes, for me the sums would be huge. But for corporations that each day carry profits of millions $10,000.00 is a pittance. For Rock stars that flaunt cars worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, the same donation is an insult. I get the feeling most are only out for publicity - me? Cynical?
So I pray. and I feel guilty. and I hurt. and I cry. and I feel helpless. and I see them again - in my mind, on the screen. they are everywhere. and I can do nothing more - but live.