Headlines, lyrics, & scriptures: Today there's a kaleidoscope in my head

Sometimes the cacophony in my head is too much....

Sometimes there are so many images, sounds, phrases, and memories swirling around like a tornado, each layered atop the other, moving in and out of focus and back again, yet from a different angle, creating a kaleidoscopic experience that is both irritating and fascinating. Yes, sometimes I fear I'm going stark raving mad. In order to maintain a semblance of sanity I have to find a distraction or I have to write. Usually when trying to distract myself I only add fodder to the mix....

Today I choose to write - or to "toss my [mental] cookies" - in an attempt to give some order to the chaos and perhaps find some themes to my ensuing madness.

All aboard! Hahahahahaha

AyeAyeAyeAyeAye 

Crazy, but that's how it goes

Millions of people living as foes

Maybe it's not too late

To learn how to love and forget how to hate. 

Mental wounds not healing

Life's a bitter shame

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train 

I've listened to preachers,

I've listened to fools

I've watched all the dropouts

Who make their own rules

One person conditioned to rule and control

The media sells it and you live the role 

Mental wounds still screaming

Driving me insane

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train 

I know that things are going wrong for me

You gotta listen to my words, yeah, yeah 

Heirs of a cold war,

that's what we've become

Inheriting troubles,

I'm mentally numb

Crazy, I just cannot bear

I'm living with something that just isn't fair 

Mental wounds not healing

Who and what's to blame

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train 

(Crazy Train, by Ozzy Osborne)

Welcome to the Powderkeg: Obama arrives in Israel as Middle East conflict boils (Huffington Post headline) 

"Blessed are the peacemakers...." (Jesus, Matthew 5:9)  

Could you ever love a pot of gold?

Could you ever love another lonely soul?

And could you ever find a love that was oceans wide?

Could you ever find love in another stranger's eyes? 

Give a little tolerance, tolerance

We need you more and more

So lend a hand or simply hold a friend

That’s in need of a life support 

Draw a picture, share a whisper

Anyway that you can rise above

And when the end is near, who is gonna volunteer?

To be the last one to die for love 

Tolerance or violence

And the whole world goes to war

Is one enough or is one too many?

Before we say, "No more"

No more, no more

No more, no more

(Tolerance, by Michael Franti)

"He did not study God; he was dazzled by him." (said of Bishop Welcome, by Victor Hugo, Les Miserables)

When Slavery Begins at 3 Years Old (Video on CNN.com)

"What is this history of Fantine? It is society purchasing a slave. From whom? From misery. From hunger, cold, isolation, destitution. A dolorous bargain. A soul for a morsel of bread. Misery offers; society accepts. The sacred law of Jesus Christ governs our civilization, but it does not, as yet, permeate it; it is said that slavery has disappeared from European civilization. This is a mistake. It still exists; but it weighs only upon the woman, and it is called prostitution. It weighs upon the woman, that is to say, upon grace, weakness, beauty, maternity. This is not one of the least of man's disgraces." (Victor Hugo, Les Miserables) 

No Bullets, No Bombs...North Korea Launches CYBER WAR (Fox News top story)

"God never forces himself on us or coerces you toward life or love by any threats whatsoever. God seduces you, yes; coerces you, no (Jeremiah 20:7; Matthew 11:28-30). ...God...is utterly free and utterly respects our own human freedom. Love cannot happen in any other way. Love flourishes inside freedom and then increases that freedom even more. 'For freedom Christ has set us free!' shouts St. Paul in his critique of all legalistic religion (Galatians 5:1)." (Richard Rohr, Immortal Diamonds, p. 177)

Rainbow House Get's Revenge on [Westboro Baptist] Church (CNN feature and Huffpost "most shared" story)

"...Love your neighbor as yourself." (Jesus, Matthew 22:39)

"You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do." (Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird, p. 22)

 "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." (The Apostle Paul, Romans 12:14)  

"I will undertake the care of your child and yourself. You shall not work any longer if you do not like. I will give all the money you require. You shall be honest and happy once more. And listen! I declare to you that...you have never ceased to be virtuous and holy in the sight of God. Oh poor woman!" (Jean Valjean to Fantine, who had turned to prostitution to earn money to care for her child, by Victor Hugo, Les Miserables)

Ohio teen wears "killer" shirt, curses at victims' families (USA Today story)

Mental wounds not healing

Who and what's to blame

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train

I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train 

(Crazy Train, by Ozzy Osborne)

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" (Jesus, Matthew 5:38-47)

Fumbling his confidence

And wondering why

The world has passed him by

Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments

And failed attempts to fly, to fly 

We were meant to live for so much more

Have we lost ourselves?

Somewhere we live inside

Somewhere we live inside

We were meant to live for so much more

Have we lost ourselves?

Somewhere we live inside 

Dreaming about providence

And whether mice and men have second tries

Maybe we've been livin' with our eyes half open

Maybe we're bent and broken, broken 

We were meant to live for so much more

Have we lost ourselves?

Somewhere we live inside

Somewhere we live inside

We were meant to live for so much more

Have we lost ourselves?

Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world's got to offer

We want more than this world's got to offer

We want more than the wars of our fathers

And everything inside screams for second life 

We were meant to live for so much more

Have we lost ourselves?

We were meant to live for so much more

Have we lost ourselves?

We were meant to live for so much more

Have we lost ourselves?

We were meant to live

We were meant to live (Meant to Live, Switchfoot)

And so I ponder. 

And so I struggle. 

And so my mind swirls with ideas & thoughts of the dark and decaying realities of our world. 

And I realize....

You're God of this city, You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation, You are
You're the light in this darkness, You're the hope to the hopeless
You're the peace to the restless, You are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like You God

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

You're the Lord of creation, the creator of all things
You're the King above all kings, You are
You're the strength in the weakness, You are love to the broken
You're the joy in the sadness, You are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like You God (by Bluetree, God of this City)

And so I pray, with Bono as my Cantor leading me to the throne of God, to the foot of the Cross of Jesus:

Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dead end street
Take these shoes
And make them fit
Take this shirt
Polyester white trash made in nowhere 
Take this shirt 
And make it clean, clean
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul 
And make it sing

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Take these hands 
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don't make a fist
Take this mouth 
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahewh, Yahweh
Still I'm waiting for the dawn

Still waiting for the dawn, the sun is coming up
The sun is coming up on the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean
This love is like a drop in the ocean

Yahweh, Yahweh
Always pain before a child is born
Yahweh, tell me now
Why the dark before the dawn?

Take this city
A city should be shining on a hill
Take this city
If it be your will
What no man can own, no man can take
Take this heart
Take this heart
Take this heart 

And make it break  

(by U2, Yahweh) 

Triumph through tragedy: Meet UGA student Joseph Strickland!

When his senior year in High school began Joseph Strickland seemed to have everything anyone could want. He had just returned from the Governor's Honors Program, where he went to study math (with a minor in voice). He was also marked as a contender for valedictorian at Southeast Bulloch High School, was a leader in his church youth group, had a beautiful loving girlfriend, and a healthy happy family. However, before the new year dawned everything began to fall apart.

In November Joseph's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She started chemo, traveling to Savannah for treatments. A few days after Christmas Joseph was awakened by his mom, who seemed confused and out of sorts. She was on the phone with Matt Upchurch, a friend of Joseph's from school. Matt told Joseph about a house fire at the home of Joseph's girlfriend, Haley Davis, in Stilson just outside of Statesboro. Though the details were sketchy it appeared that four people had died in the fire. When Joseph and his twin brother Forrest arrived at the Davis house they had trouble finding any detailed information because of all of the emergency personnel surrounding the neighborhood. Over the course of the morning he and the friends gathered there managed to figure out who had died from the large family - both parents, and the youngest two of the six children, Susannah and Haley.

Over the next few months Joseph faced a crisis of faith. But throughout the experience of shock and grief Joseph somehow managed not to fall apart. In the midst of dealing with his own grief he was able to be an integral part in one of Haley's friends coming to an assurance of faith in Christ. In spite of it all his grades didn't slip the whole Spring semester. He gave the valedictorian's speech at graduation and was somehow able to speak without shedding a tear. He gave credit God's grace and to his faith in Christ for getting him through the year.

Now a student at UGA, dual majoring in math and math education, Joseph knows that God will continue using the experiences of the past year in the future. It has taught him much about God's grace, sovereignty, and mercy. He has had many opportunities to share his journey over the past year and a half and knows that God will use his travails to help and encourage others. Joseph is active in Baptist Collegiate Ministries at UGA, and will appear in Once Upon a Mattress, the 2013 Dinner Theater musical later this month. He is also seeking other ways that God will have him serve in the future, including interviewing to do summer missions through Send Me Now.

Lift Joseph up in your prayers as he continues to grow in his relationship with Christ and seeks his place in the world while at UGA. It will be exciting to watch his story unfold!

Helping churches Connect to their communities: Meet Ken Thomas!

Perhaps you have experienced it, perhaps your children have joined the happy throngs of giggling excited children arriving on an early summer morning to a horde of enthusiastic coaches and volunteers, bright welcome flags, and loud music to begin a week of sports themed day camp at a local church in your community. One of the men behind the dream that created WinShape Day Camps is Ken "KT" Thomas (UGA '94). That dream began in the spring of 2003 as an idea to help his church, Rolling Hills Community Church, in Franklin, Tennessee, meet people in their community and for the church to serve the people there with a fun community-wide event. Ken and his wife Norma joined the new church while Ken was working at LifeWay Christian Resources, the publishing arm of the Southern Baptist Convention. Ken has always loved sports. He played college baseball at ABAC in south Georgia for two years before transferring to UGA. Using his passion to help his church connect to their community was a natural fit. Three years later Connect Ministries was born.

Ken grew up in Tifton, Georgia and was a member of FIrst Baptist Church. In college he was active in Baptist Collegiate Ministries, especially intramurals! He majored Science Education. After college he moved to Texas to attend Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He earned his Master of Divinity in 1996 (and later earned a Doctor of Education from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in 2004). He started working for LifeWay in January 1997 and continued there until August 2006. He did a brief sojourn (wandering in the wilderness for 6 months) as an Associate Dean at a college but returned to LifeWay after he realized his mistake. He started as an Intern at Lifeway, then served as a Consultant, then Coordinator, then Manager of Crosspoint and Centri-Kid Camps. He was in the Centrifuge Department (changed to Student Events) the entire time he was at LifeWay. He was responsible for overseeing the development, planning, training, recruiting, budget, staffing, operations, strategic plans for all Children camps there. Ken says his greatest achievement at Lifeway would have to be,

"having the opportunity to start Centri-Kid. From its most infant moment through the time I left in 2006 it grew from 0 campers to over 24,000 campers each summer. It was amazing watching God place his hand on a ministry and use it to reach thousands of people each summer."

Ken's partner in beginning Connect Ministries is fellow UGA grad Gabe Norris. Gabe and his wife Allyson moved from Birmingham to join the LifeWay staff also joining Rolling Hills. According to Ken, in the Spring of 2005, Gabe, who is also passionate about sports, "jumped right in to helping grow the basketball outreach of the church." A year later they left LifeWay to follow their growing dream of a new ministry.

The 3 on 3 basketball tournaments were the core of their venture in the beginning. Those first events events continue - this year they will do 4-6 big festival-like basketball tournaments in places like Boston, Houston, Athens, and Atlanta. The Connect team will also do several smaller events across the country. Since the inception of Connect Ministries the team has experienced incredible growth. They have had options to grow even more, but decided to remain focused on their core goal of connecting churches with the local community. In 2007 a partnership with the WinShape Foundation was created and the WinShape Day Camps were born. The first year they did two camps and had a total of 180 campers. In 2012 camps were conducted in 13 states with just over 14,500 campers!

In April 2010 the team also began to host 5K races. These too have been incredibly successful! In 2013 they expect to do 35-45 races with a total of 10,000-15,000 runners.

With the growth in ministry opportunities the office structure had to change as well. A few years ago the team decided to move south and relocated to Watkinsville, Georgia, just outside of Athens. There are 8 people working full time at Connect Ministries. They also have a “Leaders in Training” program for Apprentices and Interns, with another 10 people serving in those roles. Ken and Gabe have a vision for helping emerging adults discover their giftedness and to help them hone their leadership skills.

Ken and Gabe have been giving back to BCM as well. Early on they began to invest in our Men's Ministry, hosting events and covering expenses. They also have been assisting us with our leadership training events beginning with our August leadership retreat and continuing with special events throughout the year. Many of their interns come from UGA BCM as well.

You can find out more about Connect Ministries on their website or Facebook page.

From basketball dreams, to an SEC title, and now college ministry: MeetDavid DeWitt!

David receiving his SEC ring from Vince Dooley

David remembers lying in his top bunk as a middle schooler praying, "God please let me play college basketball!" About 10 years later as a college senior, coach Durham, the basketball coach at UGA, welcomed him to Bulldog team as a walk-on. That year UGA won the SEC in regular season play. David DeWitt now wears his championship ring to prove it!

David is from Savannah, Georgia where he attended Memorial Day School. His family has always been active in church. His dad was a deacon and his mom worked in women's ministries at Southside Baptist Church. His two siblings also went to UGA and, like David, were active in BSU (Baptist Student Union, now Baptist Collegiate Ministries or BCM). His sister Lacy is living in Savannah and is married to a pastor whom she met as a 2 two-year missionary (a Journeyman through the International Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention) to Paraguay. His brother Mark now lives in Atlanta and is a mortgage broker. After bouncing around to several different colleges David finally found a place where he felt he fit at UGA. He was active in Baptist Student Union while a student. He and campus minister Franklin Scott connected because of their similar competitive natures and love for basketball. Not surprisingly, sports began many of their conversations.

1990 SEC Basketball
Championship Ring

After more than six years in college David finally graduated from UGA in '91 as an Economics major with a minor in Greek. He took Greek because he had planned to go to seminary and wanted to get a head start on the difficult language. After college he returned to Savannah where he taught school for seven years, coaching tennis & girls varsity volleyball & basketball. He was working 70 hours a week, yet struggling to get by financially. Along the way he had a stint as a youth minister before finally finding his place in the world of insurance. He now works as an agent for Northwestern Mutual. David loves his job. He is good at it, it fits his giftedness and skill set, and it allows him to do ministry whenever the opportunity or need arises.

"If someone calls and asks me to chaperone a mission trip or a retreat I can go! It's great!

David met Elizabeth, a Texan and UT grad, when she accompanied a mission team from Savannah's Southside Baptist Church to Honduras. She served as the translator for the group. She had never been to Savannah before coming to go with the team. They began dating soon afterwards. Though he got cold feet a few years into their relationship, he finally realized what an amazing woman he had found (with the help of Dr. Alan Bosson, his pastor and mentor) after so many years of being single. She soon moved to Savannah and they were married soon afterwards. Seven years later the couple has two incredible children, Jasmine (5 years old) and Reed (3 years old).

Some men of Baptist Student Union at the annual formal.
David is on the back row, 5th from the right.

David and Elizabeth lead a collegiate Bible Study in their home on Tuesday evenings. They cook dinner for the crew, David teaches and leads a discussion, and then they all drive to Starbucks to hang out for a few hours. David sees the study as an opportunity to help students from lots of different churches in the area. Many small churches nearby (of all denominations) don't have the resources to have a college specific studies. David loves the great conversations the diverse group has each week.

Their eclectic home is the perfect setting for social gatherings, with an open floor plan, cool electronics, and lots of cozy seating. The house is a Pinterest dream home, with crafty designs, artfully displayed family photos, handy nooks for books and mementos, a huge kitchen island, and an expansive covered outdoor entertainment patio with a bigscreen TV, ping pong table, and picnic area. The couple is as welcoming as their home. They love inviting people in to be a part of their family life.

David is a natural encourager - he loves mentoring and challenging students to go to the next level in faith and life. I overheard him tell a young man on our mission trip, "I see myself in you. You are almost there, but there is something holding you back. I wish I could tell you what it is, but I can't; you have to figure it out on your own. I see incredible potential in you. You have amazing abilities that you can't see yet. When it hits you, when you figure it out, don't look back! Take a leap of faith. You will go far. I see it. I'm a pretty good judge of people. I'm going to be praying for you. Let's keep talking this week." A conversation ensued about ways the student could try to figure out his life plans, career choices, and areas of giftedness.

David & Elizabeth with Reed and Jasmine in 2012

David has learned to find ways to serve God through serving others. Through reflecting on the ways God opened doors for him through various relationships and opportunities, he seeks to do the same for others, particularly young adults who are still discovering their place in the world. David also wants to help as many students as possoble avoid making the same mistakes he made along his journey. He is a great example of the hymn line, "because I have been given much I too must give!"

Prayer in Christian History, part 3

Oh Bernard, you so eloquently and simply captured the heart of prayer in your sermon LXXXIV! I'm certainly glad that contemporary pastors don't title their messages like old Bernie did! The other, longer title for the brief message is perhaps worse "That the soul, seeking God, is anticipated by him: and in what consists that search for God in which it is thus anticipated" - Oh my! Nap time!

Seriously, this sermon, perhaps obfuscated by the title, is one of the most profound works on prayer I have ever read. It emerges out of Bernard of Clairvaux's (1090-1153) wrestling with the Biblical texts of Song of Solomon 3:1 ("All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him") and Psalm 105:4 ("Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always").

Simply put, Bernard surmised that we only seek God because God first sought us! In the same way, we only pray because we are drawn to commune with the God who is seeking us!

Some highlights:

"It is a great good to seek God."

"God is sought, not by the movement of the feet, but by the desires of the heart; and when a soul has been so happy as to find him, that sacred desire is not extinguished, but, on the contrary, is increased."

"...every soul among you that is seeking God should know that it has been anticipated by him, and has been sough by him before it began to seek him."

"You would not seek him at all, O soul, nor love him at all, if you had not been first sought and first loved. you have been anticipated by a twofold benediction, that of love and of seeking. The love is the cause of the seeking; the seeking is the fruit and the clear proof of the love."

"...Just as you were not able to seek him, until you had first been sought, so now that you have been sought, you are not able to do otherwise than seek him." 

"Let those fear who have no love; but for the soul that loves there is nothing to be feared." 

"Benign and gentle is the Spirit of the Word, and gentle is his greeting to me; he makes me aware of his kindness toward me; he whispers to me and convinces me of the earnest love of the Word for me, which cannot be hidden from him. For he searches the deep things of God, and knows that the divine thoughts are thoughts of peace and not purposes of vengeance."

The sermon represents a very fundamental understanding of God: God is seeking us always. The realization that "the God of the universe is seeking me" is a great one indeed! Prayer is thus made easy by God. Since God is seeking to commune with us, we only have to open ourselves up to God. This is done in prayer, but more-so in a life of openness. It is nothing difficult, yet we often make it so. God desires the contact more than we do. Such a realization brings the Biblical message into a new, clear focus. New meaning is given to the Old Testament stories of Abraham, Moses, and all of Israel (as is evident in the prophets, especially Hosea). Perhaps this is best illustrated in the narrative Jesus told about the loving father (or the prodigal son, as it has been misnamed) in Luke 15:1-32.

¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

God is waiting and watching for us to "come home." When we make the slightest movement in that direction, God sees us and runs to meet us. This should be a life transforming realization! This openness to God is not the sole property of moments spent in dedicated, focused prayer. One can learn to live in such openness to the one who is seeking us - thus, the apostle Paul's charge to "pray with out ceasing." We can learn to live in communion with the one who is seeking connection with us!

Amazing. Simply amazing.

Prayer in Christian History, Part 4

So often we modern's or postmoderns believe we have the best answers to life and faith. However, I have found that often we overly complicate rather simple matters in the effort to be more advanced. Sometimes simple is best. 

Evagrius Ponticus lived in the fourth century (345-399 AD). That was a few years back, even before "back in the day." Evagrius, a Greek Christian mystic & monk, was perhaps best known for his devotion to prayer. As a teacher he brought simplicity and common sense to his lessons on a life dedicated to God and experienced through prayer and meditation. 

I hear people complain so often that they do not have time to pray, or, when they do pray it does not benefit them throughout the day. Perhaps we can learn from Evagrius,

"If you desire to pray, do nothing that is opposed to prayer, so that God may draw near and go with you."

How profound! How many of us examine our daily lives for the purpose of simplification in order to remove from our activities and thoughts those things that are a hindrance to prayer? If our desire is for constant, consistent communication with God it should be obvious that we should not be involved in activities and preoccupied with thoughts that in essence push God away or build a wall before God. 

I am convinced that God can affect all areas of our lives. But upon close examination there are usually activities or thoughts that are sinful in nature which focus my attention away from what is best or even what is wholesome for me. Examining life from a perspective of prayer might highlight such activities or thoughts in fresh ways. 

The mystic also advised those who pray to do so without preconceptions about God. 

"Struggle to settle your intellect for the time of prayer, keeping it deaf and dumb, and then you will be able to pray."

"The settled state of the intellect is the summit...which at the time of prayer becomes resplendent with the light of the Holy Trinity,"

and

"Blessed is the intellect that for the time of prayer has gained perfect freedom from all impressions." 

Our ideas of who God is and how God acts can limit what God might be trying to teach us or motivate us to do. Openness to God in humility is a key to communion with God that changes us into the likeness of Christ and enables us to gain the mind of Christ. When we approach God adamant in our opinions of others and in our theology and doctrine about God we place a wall up through which God can have a difficult time speaking. Such walls act like colored glasses, obscuring what is actually before us, giving us the impression that what we see is real. Our own biases affect our faith. I love the statement attributed to various comedians, "You can be sure that you are wrong when it turns out that God hates all the same people you hate." When we pray we should seek to do so with an attitude of complete openness, allowing God to give us fresh eyes and ears - God's eyes and ears - with which to see the world anew. 

Prayer in Christian History, Pt. 2

A month ago I wrote about some critical lessons I learned from a seminary class, Prayer in Christian History - lessons that continue to come back to me, teaching new, deeper truths as time goes by. A part of the class was assembling a portfolio of class reports, readings, and reading interactions about prayer.  Many of the articles or book chapters read and discussed in the class were from the early Church Fathers. As I was reminiscing a bit while reading back over my reading interactions, I found a book chapter by St. Bernard of Clairvaux, titled On the Love of God, in which he delineated the stages, or degrees, of love for God. For Bernard (1090-1153) we are drawn to God because of the love we have for God. Bernard argues that humans were created by God to love. He wrote, "True love is...self-sufficient, self contented; its object is itself its recompense" (p. 56). Since we were created from God's overflowing love, we also must love to find fulfillment. The highest form of human love for Bernard is love for God.

Barnard's degrees of love are:

1st Degree - Love for Self

2nd Degree - Love of God for what God gives

3rd Degree - Love of God for who God is

4th Degree - Love of God for God's sake

Not everyone traverses all four degrees. In fact, many people do not grow beyond the first degree or stage - love for self. In self-love every action is done because of what it does for self. The second degree is similar, yet it is not solely focused on self, but also on God. It is a selfish love for God - God gives good gifts, therefore I will love God because God such love is rewarding to me. It is in this stage that many people bargain with God; they might pray "God, I will love you/serve you/pray/go to church if you will only _____." Most people come to know and follow God because of a desire to go to heaven or stay out of hell. This is a noble desire, but according to Barnard, it is a selfish one. In modern terms, such religion is only insurance for the afterlife. However, such simple immature faith is essential before growing in maturity to the degrees that follow.

The process of turning from self toward God, even if it is seeking to know God because of what God might do for self, brings humans into contact with God and with God's grace - and that is never a bad thing! As mentioned in the previous post, one cannot pray and remain unchanged. When we interact with God in prayer, contact with God begins to change us from the inside out. As a result of a growing relationship with God, we begin to grow deeper in our faith, becoming less self-focused and more God focused. Such a transition compels us to spend more time with God in prayer and in worship. 

Bernard's third degree of love is even more focused on God than on self. As we grow in our knowledge and relationship with God, as we begin to change into God's likeness, when we begin to adopt the mind of Christ through the indwelling Holy Spirit, we begin to love God simply because God is God. According to Barnard (and those who have elaborated on his writings), most people do not grow beyond the 3rd degree, but remain here for the rest of their lives. This is a good place to be. Christians who remain at this stage would be deemed "mature" by most.

It is rare that people rise to the 4th degree - to love God for God's sake. Herein, there is no selfishness. This is a pure state of love. Bernard wrote, 

"Happy is he, and holy too, to whom it has been given, here in this moral life rarely or even once, for one brief moment only, to taste this kind of love! It is no merely human joy to lose oneself like this, so to be emptied of oneself as though he almost ceased to be at all; it is the bliss of heaven" (p. 64).

This stage demonstrates the ultimate in humility. It is completely God-focused. Here one desires nothing more than to spend time with God in prayer and service. Here all of life is viewed as holy and all activity is worship. Yet for Bernard, to know God so intimately is also tragic. The tragedy is to know and experience God on such a deep level, only to return to the cares and struggles of his life. But even so, for Bernard, such a deep knowledge of God makes all things new - even the mundane. 

It is interesting to me that so many books, articles, and papers have been written on the subject of spiritual maturity. A brief scan of the Christian section of the local bookstore shows a plethora of Christian Growth books, each one more complex than the next. None are as simple as that of Bernard. Most resources on spiritual growth obfuscate Barnard's simple, clear, yet profound example of how God's love compels believers through prayer and relationship. 

Nothing is wasted

"Nothing is wasted; you work all things for good.... You are loving, you are wise, there is nothing in my life you cannot revive."

That line from an Elevation Worship song, sung during worship at BCM at UGA a few weeks ago, has stuck with me, twirling around inside my head and heart. I have been especially reminded of these words when a student shares with me a struggle, a crisis, or a seeming never ending hurt that is wrecking his or her life because, very often, I too have been there. I know I can never completely understand another's experience or the resulting pain and anguish someone might feel. But from the various experiences of my 50 years of life I have faced many moments of crisis - some emerging from my own stupid choices, some from accidents, but some from just being alive. From those tumultuous experiences and through lots of prayer I have begun to see God working in, through, and because of much of my pain and many of my struggles.

I'm not going to use this blog to air all of the struggles from life. That would be too much like whining and would focus more on me than on the point of this post. However, I want to challenge you to be open to how God may use your past to help others now.

It's natural for us to want to hide our pain and our embarrassing experiences to put forth our best face, our best image, to the world. However, to do so as Christians we become hypocrites. As followers of Jesus we need to be willing to show our weaknesses, for as the Apostle Paul learned, "when I am weak I am strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10). I know, it sounds like backwards logic; How can weakness be strength? When I choose to admit my weakness I allow God's strength to shine in my life. Because of God's immeasurable and inexhaustible grace given through the love of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit, my transparency and admission that I need help, that I can't do it on my own, that I rely on the God of the universe for help, meaning, purpose, and guidance beyond what I have or what I can see is in fact deep wisdom, not weakness or stupidity.

Hiding behind an attitude of self-sufficiency, independence, and personal strength denies our dependence on God and our professed reliance on God's grace. We need to learn transparency. It's not easy to do. It goes against contemporary American culture. Yet for those who claim to follow Jesus, humility is the primary trait we need to learn; pride is the chief trait we need to purge or at least keep under control!

God constantly surprises me with the ways He is able to use my transparency with students when I admit my struggles, hurts, and even past failures. What are your experiences?