Decluttering

I finally managed to find some time today to begin the process of decluttering my office. I was going to start simple - just clean off my desk - it's been quite a while since I have been able to see wood grain or the pictures under my blotter. Alas, as with all of the projects I undertake, this simple task got complicated quickly. After filing a few of the papers on top of the stacks I found a book, and another, and another. Before long I had almost 20 books stacked beside my desk. When I began to transfer them to the one of the four bookcases in my office, I noted that there was no room. In fact, I had other books on the floor in front of the bookcases and slipped in horizontally on top of the rows of properly shelved books. Thus, I began the process of culling the books on the shelves. I stacked the first cull into a nearby chair. Before long that chair was full, so I pulled another over. When it filled up I began putting books on the floor. When I could no longer walk around the room I went in search of boxes, realizing that I was going to have to part with many of these beloved treasures.

Now if you know me very well at all, you will recall that I hate to part with books, unless the parting is "loaning" a book to a student or a friend for a season. Many times I don't get those books back, but that makes room for more on my shelves! Most of the books in my collection were acquired at a specific time for a specific purpose - there are memories tied with many of them. Others were given to me from my father (or "borrowed" from his vast library) or from other ministers. Many are still hanging around from seminary days. Though I have not opened most of the books on my shelves for many years I find it almost impossible to part with them! My wife has gone from telling people that I am an avid reader to "Nathan is an avid buyer of books!" Our finances would confirm that assesment!

I have only culled my books once before, just before I moved to Athens. I gave away many of the books I used in my former job (missions coordinator). When I unpacked my books here many years ago I had lots of shelf space for trinkets and mission trip memorabilia. However, between normal book buying, gifts from friends and colleagues, and the masses of books I purchased during the past five years for my PhD work, I have many more books than my shelves can contain. Thus, this cull was needed (I know Karen, I need to cull at home too!).

I also took the time to reorganize the shelves. There used to be a system in place - a section each for counseling books, marriage prep books, missional books, emerging church books, evangelism books, discipleship books (and materials), leadership books, and general inspirational books. Then on the other side of the room, nearer to my desk, were shelves with sections for theology, commentaries, bibles, and Bible study materials. Before today divisions between types of books were virtually non-existent. It took forever to find a specific book because things were so disorganized. It is beginning to look presentable again. I know, there are stacks of books in chairs and on the floor. Some of these books are going home with me. But most of them are going on a table outside of my office with a sign that proclaims, "free books!" Others will be appearing on Amazon's site. Others will be headed to the local library for the annual book sale. It makes the pain of culling a bit better to think that many will be headed to a good home.

Here and Now

Brian McLaren, in his new book Naked Spirituality, says that one of the initial (and recurring) stages of faith is recognizing that God is here and learning to tune into God's presence in all of our life. Last week when I was in the mountains of Tennessee I sought to let go of my busyness and let the clean mountain air and incredible vistas slowly penetrate into my soul, into the core of myself, into that place that tends to get buried in the act of living (and even in the act of ministering to others). For me the mountains (almost any mountains) are thin places, places where it is easier for me to feel, see, and listen to God. As I've come home, back to the business of prepping for the new year at work, working around the house, and, of course, paying bills, I am trying to keep the windows to my soul open. If you have been reading my last few posts, it is easy to see that I have allowed busyness to get the best of me.

Last night at the BCM I led a discussion of 1 John 4:1-6. We were talking about the essentials of faith. For John, those essentials are acknowledging Jesus as divine and loving others. Peter Rhea Jones deems these two "interrelated convictions" to be "a durable duet" that must exist for a healthy Christian faith (p. 159). I challenged the collegians who were present (a few first semester students all the way up to 4th years) to take their college years to determine the essentials of their faith. For me my essentials vary from time to time. Like John, I divide my essentials into beliefs and practices. One essential that spans both is the incarnational presence of Jesus in my life. This requires belief, but it also required my attention to the presence and activity of God in and around me. It requires me to invoke God's presence into my day when I awaken. It requires me to set reminders during the day to slow down, to pay attention, and usually, to simply be present to God and to others. If I remember to do that life is so much better for me. I have so much less stress, and as a result, do not get nearly as tired or frustrated.

Basically, I am trying to declutter my head so that there is a clear path between God and my soul. So far I'm doing pretty well. Now if I can just get my desk decluttered.....

Home

It has taken most of this week, but this morning as I emerged from the bedroom in search of coffee and looked out over the mountains I felt a deep, inner sigh, a sigh of deep peace and contentment, the sigh of feeling at home, at rest. Brian McLaren, in his newest book, Naked Spirituality, deems this place the experience of "here," one of the early stages in the recurring spiral of spiritual growth, development, and experience. It is the re-realization of God's constant presence and the ensuing peace that such knowledge brings.
For me the experience of "here" is accompanied by a drive to do something. Much like the disciples of Jesus who experienced a mountaintop experience with him wanted to build an altar to commemorate the event, I want to get to work, prepping sermons or writing devotions or talking to students...but I know that what I need to do is rest in this moment, to allow God to minister to me as he did to Elijah (in the Old Testament story after the prophet had successfully battled the prophets of Baal). I need to stay in this place until the reality of God's abiding presence is firmly rooted in my conscience and until God moves me to the next place, like Elijah, with a deeper understanding of who God is and who I am in God's eyes.
And so I rest...and so I wait...and so I listen.

Ah, the mountains!

We are in the mountains for a few days of family vacation.  I am realizing that I have needed this trip for quite awhile. We had a week of vacation at the beach earlier in the summer. While it was fun, my soul comes alive in the mountains. Everyone has a place our two that rejuvenates them. For me, God lives in the midst of the mountains. By that I mean I feel more connected in the higher elevations, more alive, more relaxed, and more able to recognize my stresses. Like many ENFP's, I don't often notice when I am stressed until I get sick, have crazy aches and pains, lash out at someone, suffer from insomnia, or forget something important. Though I have only begun to notice, all of those have occured this week. The past few mornings my wife has told me that I had talked in my sleep and/or sat bolt upright in the middle of the night, waking her up. I don't remember any of it.
I guess I need this trip.
As I look out of the big glass windows, I feel my soul beginning to stir. The magic of the Smoky Mountains is starting to have it's expected - and needed - effect.
"Awake my soul and sing....."