This morning I’m pondering if it is possible to live a non-reactionary life. Let me explain: many, if not most, of the people I meet are driven by a particular event that occurred to them in the distant past or they live each day in reaction to external events (activities, people, ideas) instead of being internally motivated. It seems that for most people identity development is prompted by crisis moments. Some people negotiate crises in a healthy way, consciously choosing to adjust their ideology or lifestyle appropriately. Whereas others become bitter or withdraw or are driven by a manic need to somehow achieve revenge or to make up for a perceived loss that occurred as a result of the crisis. Sometimes the result can be positive, but often it is not. In talking to the many collegians and alumni who come my way it seems that some do not even realize the effects crises have on their lives. However, many others are thoughtful, taking the care and time needed to do the deep, often difficult soul-level work needed to choose to have control of who they become.
As a minister and often counselor I have found that many people are resistant to asking questions. Most just want answers without living in and with the tough questions of life. Many times the quick or easy answers are not the most helpful. Even when our faith gives us guidance some inner wrestling needs to take place before we truly understand, appreciate and are able to appropriate the answers gleaned in those rich religious traditions. Most theology did not come about through intellectual study, but through deep soul searching, prayer and wrestling with God. In this vein, Jacob is my hero. For the rest of his life, his night long wrestling match with God left its mark on him. This next year my challenge is to help my students learn to wrestle through the tough issues and not only accept the easy answers others have gained through their own dark nights of the soul!
