I’ve decided that you can teach old dogs new tricks, but it sure does take a lot longer! This summer I did a lot of reading about leadership. One of my projects was to compare leadership writings in the secular world with that written from a Christian perspective. For the most part there were no distinct differences, but some of the authors pointed out significant differences in the motivation and practice of leadership for those who follow Jesus. In all of the reading, the most surprising concept discussed with humility. As I worked through the various leadership models and descriptions (from Collin’s Good to Great to Julian’s God is my CEO) I became convinced that I need to learn to practice humility in some new ways and to new depths. I began to pray about it as well as seek ways that I could put other’s needs ahead of my own, not insist on my way of doing things, and learn to be a better follower in order to become a better leader. Toward the end of the summer I thought I had the concept down pretty well. Until I did the second most stupid thing I’ve ever done – I drove my van, with my carbon fiber bike securely affixed on top, under a fast food drive through. I know. One should remember that one has a very expensive bike atop of one’s car! After beating my self up about it for a week or so, I felt it had been a heard lesson to learn – yes, even I can be forgetful, get distracted and cause major, unintentional damage to stuff in my care. Ironically just the night before my son and I had been having that exact discussion as we were cleaning his room and tossing broken toys into the trash can. Humility, yes, I now had it.
Or so I thought. Exactly 10 days after my thoughtless drive under, I picked the bike up from the shop, paid the $250.00 repair bill, and confidently and proudly put the bike atop of my van for my careful drive home. I still had a few stops to make before I returned to the house. All the way I kept looking ahead for low branches across the road or overhanging wires – anything that may be an obstacle! While driving to pick up my daughter from daycare I dreamed of the rides I would take over the weekend – where I would go, which fun hills I would ride and who I would recruit to go with me. When I pulled into the parking lot of the daycare center I was in a hurry to pick up my daughter so I could get in an afternoon/early evening ride. Imagine my surprise when I heard a loud boom as I pulled under the overhang covering the front doors of the center. It took a second to realize what I had done. I took even longer for the realization to sink in…. As I walked back to my bike, suspended by the seat that pierced the stucco, swinging back and forth, back and forth, my only thought was, “YOU IDIOT!” For two days that thought bounced around in my head. It was a week before I could bring myself to tell my friends at the bike shop.
Humility, wow, what a hard lesson to learn – I have realized that this is not something to quickly read about and then apply to my life. Having a humble attitude and approach to life is based in the understanding that “I can’t do it by myself” and “I’m not really self-sufficient.” It is accompanied by the awareness that at any moment I can screw things up royally, and remembering when I have done so!
I’m still learning humility. My friends at the bike shop have offered to sell me a new bike at their cost. I’m learning that humility works both ways. It’s hard to accept such pure grace when I certainly don’t deserve it.
It’s good to know I can still learn – even though I feel like an old dog some days…. This will be a lesson I keep on learning all the days of my life.
